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BOOK REVIEW: Getting the Love You Want

HendrixTITLE: Getting the Love You Want

AUTHOR: Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.

GENRE: Self-Help, Relationships

BUY: Amazon, Barnes & Noble


Originally published in 1988, “Getting the Love You Want” has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix’s updated philosophy for eliminating all” “negativity from couples’ daily interactions, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from his ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work.

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., in partnership with his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD., originated Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents. Together they have more than thirty years’ experience as educators and therapists and their work has been translated into more than 50 languages, with Imago practiced by two thousand therapists worldwide. Harville and Helen have six children and live in New York and New Mexico. ~ Goodreads.com

So Much For Once Upon a Time…

When it comes to love, so many of us crave a fairy tale. But, not Harville Hendrix. And, for good reason…

Once upon a time two soul mates reunite after unconsciously searching for each other since being wrenched apart in a former life. At the moment of reunion, both souls feel a strange familiarity. They feel like they have known each other forever – and were destined to be together. The relationship launches into the stratosphere and bliss abounds. Until one day…

The criticism starts. The nagging begins. And, the stratosphere begins to vibrate with tension, tempers, and tears.

In Getting the Love You Want – A Guide For Couples, Hendrix obliterates the notion of fairy tales with his Imago Theory. Harville’s premise is that we are actually unconsciously and intensely attracted to those potential partners that most resemble that caretaker who [intentionally or unintentionally] chipped away at our youthful psyches. It could be a mother, father, grandparent, brother or sister…any caretaker from whom we desperately sought love and approval, yet somehow came up short.

No, we’re not masochists. We’re wildly hopeful. Maybe this time around, their love and approval will be forthcoming and our hole(s) will be filled.

If this sounds familiar, don’t despair. With this book and mutual motivation, Harville believes that it’s entirely possible for a couple to heal their hurt inner children together.

This is far from a light read. It’s packed full of sometimes mind-spinning technical information. It’s for those individuals who crave deep self-awareness or those couples who are serious about healing each other. The path will not be easy, but if you’ve got someone worth working for, it’ll be worth it.

If you’re single, check out Keeping The Love You Find. In exchange for giving up the fairy tale, you’ll exponentially increase your odds of landing in a healthy relationship. 


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